- 3.88 Rating on Untappd
- 3.8 Brewery rating
- New England IPA
- 8.5% ABV
— In this week’s episode of Hopman: Defender of Craft… —
“Save us, Hopman! Save us, please!”
Upon hearing the cry of a craft fan in distress, our hero, Hopman, jumps to his feet and charges to the scene.
He arrives quickly, only to find that Big Beer is up to no good... again. The evil Macro Marauder has tied up a group of craft-loving friends and left them dangling over a deadly vat of stale, watered-down beer!
“You’ll never get away with this, Macro Marauder! By the fruity hops in my heart, I’ll make sure of that!” Shouts Hopman as he flexes his 8.5% ABV muscles and leaps into action.
As the newest member of the Juicy Justice League at Connecticut Valley Brewing, our hero is well-equipped. This Great International Beer Competition Award-winning team became an East Coast powerhouse for helping pioneer the New England-style Hazy IPA!
Thinking on his feet, Hopman uses the dual-action El Dorado and Galaxy Hops on his brew-tility belt. He launches his palate-crushing flavors of juicy mandarins and sweet, blood orange marmalade at the Marauder. But it’s not quite enough.
“You’ll never take me alive, Hopman!” Caws the Marauder as he turns and tries to flee.
Quick as a whip, Hopman follows up his citrusy onslaught with a flash of honeydew melon and a tongue-tying burst of kushy pineapple and pine. “Take THAT, Marauder!”
“AAaahghg!!” The Macro Marauder falls to the ground, unable to resist being fully immersed in Hopman’s juicy justice.
With a final stroke of hoppy heroism, Hopman uses his bitter bite to cut the craft fans free from the dangers of Big Beer.
“No need to thank me, friends. I’m just glad we can finally put this evil-doer behind bars. Rest assured, you won’t see hide nor hair of Macro as long as Hopman’s around!”
As the Marauder is hauled away by the beer police, the gang of crafty compadres cheers to Hopman’s sweet victory. And that was the last they ever saw of Big Beer… or was it?